Monday, 21 September 2015

5 Things I'd Tell My Pre-Baby Self



Just a small collection of lessons learned so far. Former self, take heed.

1. Don't wear that midi dress to your cousins wedding mate, he won't take the bottle and you'll be in the disabled toilet breastfeeding, essentially naked, all night long.

ALWAYS WEAR A TWO PIECE OUTFIT. 

2. Before you spend £50 on that 'boho mama' baby sling, ask yourself this:

Does unravelling a 5m long stretch of material, wrestling it into one of 5 recommended yet highly complex 'baby safe sling tie formations' only to end up tangled up, stressed out and pissed off sound like fun to you?

  DON'T BOTHER. 

3. All that pre-baby ironing? Babies don't give a crap about whether or not their get-ups are smooth. Also, neither does anyone else.

SAVE TIME. LEAVE THE IRONING.

4.Remember how adamant you were that you weren't going to turn into one of 'those mums' who made 'incessant' cooing noises over their kids and spammed Instagram and Facebook with tons of baby pictures? 

THINK AGAIN. THAT LOVE IS REAL.

5. Finally, you know those 8 hour+  blocks of sleep you've been enjoying for...all your life? And them lie-ins?


  DON'T BE TAKING THAT SHIT FOR GRANTED.

THE END.

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